Day 90

My name is Susanne and I’m a compulsive overeater. Today I get to be abstinent as I weigh my 3 meals off the CGS, write them down, commit them to my sponsor, and eat those meals with nothing in between but approved drinks, no matter what. Because I have made this my #1 priority for…

Commuting

Having started a new job this week, my commute now (door-to-door) is about 1.5 hours each way. I cycle to the train station, take my bicycle with me on the train, then go from the station to work. This has a few implications I hadn’t thought of. Because I have commitments every evening except Mondays,…

It’s all worth it

I am so, so relieved. So grateful, too. It’s a hard-earned victory, I feel like. Realising that I would struggle, I still went to celebrate Christmas at a friend’s house – I know how accommodating they are and that I would have no problem getting my food. There was never a problem anywhere except in…

Ode to sponsors

I’m so grateful for my sponsor. That woman makes herself available to me every single day at the same time, late at night for her, whether she is tired or going out or whatever. Sometimes I reach her voicemail, but the majority of times she is there and we connect. I’m so, so grateful for…

Locking the door

In talking with my sponsor this morning, we were discussing my plans to go out for dinner with my friends for one friend’s birthday. It would be my first time eating out since getting abstinent again. As it so happens, the dinner isn’t on (which has nothing to do with me) but I think it’s…

Scotland trip

I’ve been out of touch over the long weekend because my housemates and I went to Scotland. Staying in this lodge right by the seashore, we had a wonderful time to spend together and get to know each other better (and amazingly, the weather was awesome!). I didn’t have a particularly easy time with the…

My despised body

As I’ve been reading the jubilant shares of those who weighed in with a loss this month (congratuations!) I was once again feeling let down by this body of mine. This is an old attitude that I am slowly and consciously working on changing. My body holds on to weight like a bulldog (which is…

Why I relapsed in May

I’m still very much in the honeymoon phase with abstinence. Learning a lot about why I let it go last time after almost 1.5 years – as they say, there’s a million reasons but not a single excuse. I was vulnerable then, and now I can ensure that I don’t put myself into such a…

Gum & Soda

Because I gave myself some leeway about the gum and soda, figuring I’d take care of them once I’ve got some abstinent time together, I now find myself eating through family packs of gum and drinking diet sodas. It doesn’t feel abstinent to me. It gives me indigestion. Certainly the expense for unnecessary things like…

Day after Thanksgiving

I wouldn’t have had to, but I celebrated Thanksgiving. It’s my favourite holiday – a time to reflect and give thanks and get together with loved ones. So I organised my closest loved ones to get together and have a meal together, and we each named one thing that we are thankful for that happened…