I feel a bit afloat today. Last week I lost my sponsor and I have since been committing my food to other qualified persons, having now found someone who is willing to take my food every day on a temporary basis until I have found a new sponsor – this helps because it means I don’t have to call around several people until I reach someone who can take my food just for today. What is REALLY irking me is that this is the second day I have missed my call to this generous temp sponsor… I used to call my food in around mid-day and now it’s in the morning and I have forgotten until the time had passed, twice now. This doesn’t reflect AT ALL how important abstinence is to me – it’s the most important thing, so I cannot understand how I could possibly have missed the calls. All I can think is that in the morning I work on routine, on autopilot, and that’s how that happened. Argh.
I hope to find a sponsor soon. The GS community here is lovely, but small; plus, I will likely move to Dallas, TX within the next year or so (will know more by the end of November) and ideally I’d like to find a sponsor to work with long-term… hence, someone in the States, better yet, in TX. Or perhaps not – I’m praying that HP will show me the right person to approach, I’ve sent out a number of emails but no positive responses yet.
In any case – I would like this to be a positive pitch about GS abstinence. The fact is, I am still abstinent even in between sponsors; I love the fact that there is a community almost anywhere I go, and if I didn’t have abstinence I would not be facing the exciting opportunity to move to the States again. I’d be hiding in my house eating in secret shame. So, I’m incredibly grateful for this fellowship and the Greysheet.