Day 7, no promises

I don’t feel ready yet to say “no matter what” or “this is the most important thing in my life”. I need to mean these things when I say them, not recite phrases. Can I truly say “no matter what” when in the past 7 days I haven’t actually had any real challenges? Things are easy, but they won’t always be this easy. When I face real difficulty, then I will be able to say “no matter what”.

And as for abstinence being the most important thing in my life? I’m not there yet, either. I wonder, looking back, when I was last there. I know I was, of course, but I lost that kind of depth long before I lost my actual abstinence.

Today, all I can say is that I plan to weigh and measure my meals as I have committed them to my sponsor… for today. And for the rest of the week. There are challenges coming, and soon – work trips, family visits, social meals out. I haven’t faced any of those yet, and I’m worried, and I’m not ready to make any promises. I’m not nearly as stable as I once was…


One response to “Day 7, no promises

  1. Dear Friend I haven’t met, I hope you find the peace you are looking for in this. I had a binge eating disorder for 12 years and have been free for 1 year. Without Greysheet, but with two primary premises… 1) surrendering my body shape and size to God 2) eating and making choices with the goal of freedom from compulsion, not weight loss… today I weigh less than I ever thought I could, or ever did while dieting/binging… I had a long discussion with a compulsive-eater friend the other day and marveled at the level of freedom I have had. I hope you will, too. Don’t give up!

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