I wanted to share my gratitude for the way this programme keeps things sane. Three meals a day. I don’t have to skip breakfast! I don’t have to argue about how big my lunch is. I get to eat a lovely dinner! Three times a day, I get to have beautiful food and no guilt attached.
Three meals with NOTHING in between… I have had to include gum in that. I didn’t want to, but I have to have nothing at all in between meals, apart from drinks. I can’t continue to feed my oral addiction. Over the past few weeks, with the gum getting really bad, I felt my entire abstinence was in danger because I was losing control, losing all sanity and any trace of serenity, with things I put in my mouth. It’s a small step from putting one thing in my mouth to putting another, non-abstinent, thing there. It’s so easy.
I’m grateful that four hours in between meals can be managed. I can get busy, do other things, and then eat again even if I’m hungry soon after my last meal. And I have to kill, yes kill, the oral addiction. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to let go of sweeteners and diet sodas as well, and stop seeking after the oral stimulation. Perhaps not… but I hope I will. These are things that make my mind focus on taking things in, and they feed my oral fixation. For true serenity, I do know I cannot have these but right now all I have the willingness to give up is the gum.
But I’m abstinent today. It’s the 1st of September and I have weighed in and I’ve been presented with the bill of weeks of gum bingeing – because these things do contain calories, and they do bloat me, I have gained. Only got myself to blame.