So who’s a winner in Greysheet, as I see it? I totally resonate with Dr Paul’s idea that it is those who *live* sober (abstinent). In other words, people who have a life. The way I see abstinence is that it is the foundation on which I get to build my life, but it is by no means the extent of that life. I love the diversity and all the different pursuits of Greysheeters near and far, everyone gets up to… well… *doing* things!
In the food, I was trapped. I may have been doing things, but certainly not to the extent I do now, and even more certainly not with the serenity and sanity that I now take for granted. I look at Greysheeters who pursue demanding careers, travel the world, raise a family… they have a life. That is a winner to me, and that is what I want – hence I stick with those winners.
That old idea of holding life in one hand and food in the other is so important to me. So many things can happen around me – good and bad – and some things I do, some things are done to/near me. None of that affects my food (unless it’s travel, which does affect my food, but I prepare/plan/protect).
It is people like that, who have interests and pursuits and full lives, that I am drawn to. When they reach out to others in a 12th Step, they have something I want and that’s why I listen. These are the people whose bedrock is abstinence – they don’t carry it like a boulder, but they stand on it for solid ground. That is what I like my abstinence to be.