Well, so the topic… dealing with triggering emotions or frustrations… well how do I deal with them? There’s a whole list of things that frustrate me, or trigger negativity.
- physical hunger. I am an absolute nightmare to be around when I’m physically hungry. I have no patience for anything then.
- rushing. I hate to be rushed, I normally plan better than to be rushing, but of course it does happen occasionally. I cannot stand being late (case in point: when I lived in New York, I remember arriving late for a meeting with a friend ONCE – and he still won’t let me live it down, knowing how atypical that is for me!)
- Family. That is to say, my father’s side of it. They frustrate me with their low-level hatred of one another, their passive aggression that flies under the radar just enough so you’re not able to call them on it. I don’t know how to deal with it, and it frustrates me. This is probably why I had absolutely NOTHING to share the week they were here, when we were talking about “Fun in abstinence” – what an irony.
- Disorganisation. I tend towards being organised, I plan ahead. Others don’t always. There are some people I work with whose perpetual state of disorganisation, and the constant emergencies that arise out of that (as they keep going from one fire to the next), frustrate me a lot.
This list just makes me sound like a perpetually frustrated person. But I really don’t think I am. The question is really, how do I deal with it?
I think withdrawal is probably it. Most of the time, when I’m frustrated with something or someone, I just withdraw – take my hands off, walk away. If I can. If I can’t, I withdraw in other ways – speaking only when spoken to, and then only the most necessary. These are my coping mechanisms when things are beyond my control, if there’s nothing I can do about those frustrations. Some things I can do something about – hunger, for example – but I can’t fix someone else’s disorganisation (or its impact on my workload) or my family.
I suppose I should work on “healthy” outlets or ways of dealing with it, but I don’t know, this seems to me a pretty civilised way of dealing with frustration: withdraw until it goes away. Works for me, most of the time…