Abstinence and Life

I’m Susanne, a compulsive overeater abstinent today as I weigh my 3 meals off the CGS, write them down, commit them to my sponsor, and eat nothing else no matter what. I make that my #1 priority, even if it means – as it did today – that I need to go back home from work to fetch the protein I had planned for lunch. Not that that’s a big deal any more, now that I live five minutes away from work!

I’ve been wanting to share for a while but just couldn’t think of anything to say. What have I to complain about? Are there any problems, struggles, issues? Well, at the moment, the truth is that I’m in a good place in my life and I couldn’t complain if I tried. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying life will be all flowers when one gets abstinent. I credit abstinence with providing the bedrock on which I build my life, but of course, being abstinent itself is no promise that life will be good. Abstinence is in one hand, life in the other, and as it happens right now for me, both are wonderful.

A 10-point life gratitude list for today:

  1. I have a new place, five minutes away from work and costing me half what my old place did;
  2. the sun is shining (at last!);
  3. Monday is a bank holiday;
  4. my new housemate seems to be reasonable, lovely, and open to friendship;
  5. I have a long weekend ahead to spend with friends from my church which I am about to leave (due to the move);
  6. I look forward to connecting with new friends at my new church
  7. I’m going food shopping in a few minutes (I *like* that!);
  8. I’m not completely broke even though I’ve paid two rents this month;
  9. I love my job and my coworkers and we just had a lovely Friday in the office;
  10. I look forward to two holidays, in a way: house-sitting with two gorgeous kitties for one week, and later, visiting family in Austria (yes it’s stressful, but I still look forward to it).

A 10-point food gratitude list for today:

  1. I’ve ordered a new scale today because the display of my scale has gone funny (I’ve had my scale practically from Day 1!! – this is better than Christmas!!)
  2. I’ve been off sweeteners for two weeks now – and I’m still alive!
  3. I’ve been off caffeine for two weeks now – and I’m happy!
  4. food tastes different (more intense?) since I’ve given up sweeteners
  5. experimenting with new recipes – free from sweeteners – has been interesting (although I’d love to get more reliable recipes…)
  6. I have a huge freezer in my new home! (had no freezer before)
  7. all my food for the long weekend is packed and ready to go, no hassle
  8. since I’m no longer eating gum & drinking sodas, I have a lot more money – it does add up!
  9. found huge fruit of my favourite kind in the supermarket
  10. found a local farmer’s market which I can’t wait to check out.

And here it is… as I said, I’m not saying that abstinence = fab life. I just happen to go through that phase at the moment, and I’m exceedingly grateful. Above all, and underneath it all, my foundation is – I don’t eat, no matter what.


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