As life goes

I don’t have anything specific to share, but I want to connect and be part of the group whether times are good or bad (or indifferent)… so, a little update on what abstinent life for this compulsive overeater looks like right now…

  • Freedom!  I’ve finished studies for my postgrad diploma.  I was really beginning to crack toward the end.  Now, with a big white space of empty time on my hands, I have to consciously choose not to fill it like that again.  I promised myself I would slow down, and I’m working to stick with that promise.  I was able to do this diploma only because I am abstinent, which kept me (marginally) sane through the process, and abstinence is my bedrock now as I learn how to live with less structure.
  • Over-freedom! – that is, the lack of discipline is something I’m becoming quite concerned about.  Again, abstinence is my bedrock and I won’t shake that, but I have found myself swinging into the opposite emphasis after the strong grip of discipline I had while studying.  Now, I can’t seem to get out of bed like I used to… I’m not exercising… I’m not spending time meditating… it seems like every helpful discipline I’ve established is now thrown out with the studies, like the baby with the bathwater.  It’s incredibly hard to get any of that back, and any suggestions and/or ideas would be greatly appreciated.
  • Apprehension – my doctor put me on the pill due to hormonal issues, and the last time I was on it started an upward climb of my weight – slow, but consistent – that hasn’t stopped even after I quit taking it after six months.  Now I’m having to take it again, and although I eat extremely simple & wholesome foods, I’m apprehensive of the next weigh-in.
  • Direction – I’m at a crossroads regarding my job, which I love but which is very far away from where I live.  I am taking proactive action a day at a time, being very open and transparent at work, which is a big break through for me.  I also credit the GS programme for my ability to handle this.  I’m not sneaky, I’m not playing politics, I’m not running away from the situation.  I just lay it out as it is and letting God take care of it, which I trust he will do.
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