Re-entry

For the last few weeks I’ve been absolutely and totally immersed in exam preparations.  It’s incredible how that takes up every waking moment – not the studies themselves, but the worry about it and just constantly thinking about it.  Like a weight over everything.  I had my final exams last week and now I’m trying to re-adjust to life without this… it’s a really strange feeling.  Something is missing.

Toward the end I have to admit I really could tell I was beginning to crack, as it wasn’t just the studying and that pressure but work was incredibly hectic as well… abstinence is what kept me sane, keeps me sane!

So now I’m just in a really strange place, a big emptiness in me coupled with intense relief, as well… I have to be really disciplined now and resist the temptation to get stuck into the next thing.  I need to let go now, relax, but I don’t know how – it’s such an alien thing to me.  But I’ll just commit to take it a day at a time, and do what I’d promised myself a few weeks ago when the pressure seemed too much: not to overload myself like that again.

Thanks to abstinence I get to have a full life, but I’ve got to learn how not to overfill it! 🙂

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