A new pair of glasses

As an aside, I was just saying to a sponsee this morning that my life these days is so far removed from the misery of the food, I live a life so free – mentally and physically – that staying close to the community and service are absolutely VITAL things for me to do because it would be easy to forget there I came from.  And I know I can have that misery back any day, if I want it.

And I don’t want it. 

As for the weekly topic:

> My Topic for this week has to do w/the changes that occur
> simply because we W&M our food w/o exception.

A new pair of glasses, I like that comparison.  When I had new glasses fitted, I experienced quite a bit of dizziness and headaches for the first couple of days.  Much like in the beginning of my Greysheet abstinence. 😉  But I need those glasses to see clearly so I needed to get through the adjustment period and now I have no more dizziness & headaches but I see clearly.

Lots of things have changed for me simply because I started w/m’ing.  My first sponsor, who sponsored me for over a year, used to promise me this.  She would tell me not to get too worked up about my character defects and/or problems just yet because I may find they work themselves out over the first year just because I’m abstinent.  And she was right!  So many things came into focus, became “clearer” for me.

Probably the biggest change in clearer vision was that I began to see the dysfunction in others (and then my sponsor would tell me to love them, not judge).  With my family I’ve always been *involved* in the dysfunction – hating it, staying on the sidelines, but nevertheless letting it get to me.  Mind you, I don’t see my family for more than once or twice a year and this is all I can take without being drawn in, but as it is now, at the times I do see them it’s different.  I observe lovingly.  It actually breaks my heart to see the misery some of them are in.  And without getting onto their case, every so often I find that one of them opens up to me in an amazing way, almost like they were sensing that I’m safe, someone to trust in.  That is a privilege I don’t take lightly.

I hope that I can serve my family and others – not just the GS community – whereas before, I was interested only (or at least primarily) in what I could GET from people.  Now, certainly with my family, when I go there I go with a view to what I can give to them. 

Only because of GS abstinence.

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