Summer coming

It’s that time again… summer is coming, at last. Today was the first day I really felt it. Temperature in the 70’s, glorious sunshine, I even went out for a run in the park this morning instead of doing the hamster wheel thing in the gym. This kind of day reminds me why I live here in the first place.

Summer is beautiful. I can’t wait for it. But it hasn’t always been this way.

Before I got abstinent, summer was about…

  • sweating excessively
  • thighs rubbing together (I remember one VERY painful – on many levels – time when I went for a run in Central Park and my thighs managed to rub against the seam of my pants so much that the seam disintegrated, which aggravated the rubbing, and my inner thighs ended up with something like burns – I could barely walk home)
  • wearing dark clothes
  • wearing covering, heavy clothes to hide beneath
  • craving, madly, the frozen “summer” binge foods (which really have little to do with summer, it’s not like I didn’t binge on them in the winter!)
  • depression
  • not wanting to go out of the house, the beautiful weather was for beautiful people – not me
  • feeling pathetic
  • comparing myself to thin, scantily clad girls and HATING my own body

Thank you, Greysheeters, for carrying the message to me so I could get abstinent and enjoy every day of the summer!! These are the days I want to LIVE to the full, every single minute of them.

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