I was reminded recently of how flawed my own reasoning and wisdom is, and how much I do need other people around me for sanity checks. If I am experiencing difficulties, like at the moment I am struggling to juggle work, studies (a dissertation), various church commitments, being a trustee / fundraiser / PR-marketing person of a local homeless shelter, an AWOL, and a writing group – and all of it began to really weigh me down and making me anxious. I was projecting into the future, carrying a huge load of worry on my shoulders, and felt like I was about to crumble.
Today, after finally (!) speaking about it with other people – which never occurred to me, used as I am to trying to “figure everything out” myself – my situation hasn’t changed and I still carry the same commitments, but I am trying to take it a day at a time rather than thinking ahead so much. It helps. It’s not an ideal situation, but I did get myself into it, and none of the commitments can be dropped at the moment, so I just have to bite the bullet and get through this time, knowing that “this too shall pass”.
And hopefully I’ll learn from it not to overcommit myself in the future. Fat chance!
Ah well – at the end of the day, all that matters is that I weigh my 3 meals off the CGS, commit them to my sponsor, and eat nothing else no matter what. Everything else will work itself out eventually, even if I drop some plates along the way.