Exercise & extremism

I’m having a luxury problem.

I am trying to find a way to get myself to consistently exercise for purely health/fitness/feelgood reasons! Through abstinence, I am learning my preferences, strengths and weaknesses, and this is something where I’m learning to work with those, rather than against them.

When I was eating, I would exercise compulsively to “get it off”. When I was not eating (anorexic phase), I would still exercise compulsively to “get it off”. I have never, ever been moderate about things and this is no exception – I would either overexercise or NOT exercise at all. I’ve never done it healthily, or for health reasons.

Now, I moved here 18 months ago and for more than a year, had no car. So exercise was built into my day, much as I hated it, as I had to go everywhere on my bicycle. In the long run, though, that lifestyle wasn’t sustainable with work being so far away, and I was given a car. Now I have a choice, and since getting the car I have not once made the choice to cycle rather than drive!! I can’t seem to get myself to it.

So I joined a gym, knowing that if I have a firm routine in place that’ll work.  So I’m planning to go there every workday before work, have a workout, shower, and go to work from there. I know this can work.

What I’m having trouble with now is that I have no tangible GOAL when I exercise – I’m not busting my a** off to lose weight, I only want to do it because I feel sluggish and un-energized these days and I know it’s from lack of exercise. But without a goal, it’s just a drag… it’s so intangible, I can’t measure “having more energy”…

Not sure if this luxury problem makes any sense to you. I am simply a very goal-oriented person and without that, simply to work hard because it’s “routine”, I’m finding it really difficult to get myself to MAKE those choices.


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