I was thinking about what reality is, what being real is. “Being real” has come to mean something similar to being negative – as in, “I’m just being real!”. But is it? What is real to me?
- I commute to work 1 hour each way, costing me 2 hours of my day as well as about $500/month in gas (it’s expensive in the UK) to say nothing of insurance and maintenance costs.
- I live in shared accommodation because I cannot afford to live on my own.
- I eat the cheapest food on Greysheet because I cannot afford better food.
- I have not bought clothes, or anything nice for myself, for longer than I care to think.
- Having just moved house in March, I am now having to move again as my landlord changed his mind about renting out the house.
- Travelling this summer is out of the question financially.
- The weather in the UK has been appalling for weeks.
- I love my job, I do meaningful work, and I love my colleagues. No amount of money or promotion could make up for knowing that I spend 8 hours of my day helping others in the best way I can because this job engages my heart and fits my skills like a glove.
- I get four weeks of annual leave per year.
- I have a car and no longer have to go to work by train and bicycle in every weather, so my commuting time has come down by an hour per day and I am so much more flexible.
- I have a roof over my head.
- I can afford food to eat from the Greysheet.
- I am healthy.
- I am loved by my loved ones, and I love them.
- I live in a beautiful place that I can explore and get to know.
- I have abstinence and all that comes with it. (if I were to dwell on that, this list would grow exponentially!)
I have to say, for me, Option 2 is preferable and this is what “being real” is to me. I choose to focus on Option 2, in fact I have made it my very nature to dwell on it. I have power over what I dwell on. If my thoughts wander toward my problems, I either carry them onward towards a solution, or I distract them to more useful areas. Worrying, fretting, negativity, bitterness, are all choices I choose not to make today.
Thank you all for giving me this program, and thank God for enabling me to walk in it.