Resentment over finances

I’m back from my food poisoning episode. It’s good to eat again. Funny thing is, even though I now feel physically completely recovered, the one thing that’s still missing is the sensation of hunger! Normally I get REALLY hungry before meals. So this is definitely a very welcome reprieve, however long it’ll last!

I’m struggling financially… due to moving house next week (which itself causes quite some resentment for me as that decision to give up the house was made without my input – even though I did find a new place which is much better in every way!). The estate agents are ruthless. Money is going out left and right and I don’t have it, I just don’t!! Add to that the general resentment I feel toward my housemates, who are all arranging their own moves without offering to arrange things together, who just blithely ask me if I’ve made my arrangements… add to that having to scrub this stupid house squeaky clean after it’s all cleared out… I’m really, really fighting major resentments¬†here. All of the other stuff I can handle, but the money is a big issue because I’m scraping as it is. Things aren’t unfair – they’re all paying the same – I’m just resenting.

And I need to get that out of my system. The Big Book tells me that we cannot afford resentments. How the heck, then, do you get rid of them??

My plans to go to the States this year (NYC and VA, both places I have lived before and not been to in over a year to see my close friends) have officially died with this. I was SO looking forward to NY Greysheet meetings!!!!!!

Maybe 2008. I’m feeling trapped.

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