You may remember that I was almost undecided as to whether I should weigh and measure on my trip to see family. I just got back from that yesterday, and I went through it – ABSTINENTLY!
This has made such a difference; the time there was amazing, somewhat saddening because there is such a cleft between my family and myself and I see the difficulties they’re facing, but the point is, I was able to concentrate and become aware of those things – not everything was about food! I did have to assert myself, I just did what I needed to do and with some of my family, that was accepted (with some curious questions where I, unhappily, lied in reply), and with other parts of my family that was ridiculed and ripped apart and I let them ramble. No need to fight. I did what I needed to do and left the reactions be.
One thing I have really learned is that NOBODY and NOTHING can make me put food in my mouth that I haven’t committed. Only I can. So if I were to eat un-abstinently, I would be to blame – nobody else. The same way, yet knowing that I have had lots of help from God both practically and in providing me with the willingness, I get to take the credit for staying abstinent in a difficult situation. I wasn’t abstinent by accident – I made that choice and followed through with it.
The London Roundup right before my trip had certainly helped, too! I did feel really isolated though, all GS contact I had was my sponsor call in the mornings. It’s good to be back.