I say this, yet I’m having thoughts that I need to get out there so that they don’t fester in my head. I’m going to visit my family in Austria for a week right after the London Roundup (first week of March), and I keep wondering whether I should weigh & measure or not.
This is ridiculous – I’m COMMITTED to this program, I would tell anyone to just get over themselves, but if I don’t share it I’ll wear it.
The issue is that I went there only a few months ago in August, right before I became abstinent again. So I wasn’t weighing my food there, and I was certainly overeating on foods that would have been abstinent (never did go into sugars, grains & starches). My family saw the weight I had lost since they last saw me 2 years ago – before I EVER got abstinent – and so now I don’t look different at all, but suddenly I’m coming back with a scale… it won’t make sense.
I looked like I had all that freedom and everything together. I didn’t, but they didn’t know that. I don’t know how to explain to them my need to weigh & measure! But I know that if I don’t weigh & measure there, why would I do it again on my return? Where would I be when I get back, mentally? Not even to speak of physically.
I want to be abstinent. I never realised that my family and what they think of me still hold such power over me!!