I’ve been facing lots of good and challenging issues lately. My money situation is bad as it has turned out I’m earning even less than I thought I would (amounting to $300/month less!!) and with commuting costing me as much as it does, I barely have enough money to cover rent and food. Everything else is out of the question for now.
I am, however, prioritising the Greysheet Roundup in February – I will go, no matter what.
If it wasn’t for the fact that this job is turning into more and more of a calling, and the fact that I consider it a real privilege to work there, I would be out looking for alternatives already. But as it is, I get to use eight hours every weekday to help out people who I am growing to love more and more (learning disabled people), and the more I learn about their situation the more my heart goes out to them… I get to help them in ways that challenge me, with my skills and strengths perfectly suited to this job. I could not have asked for a better job.
I do fight with greediness. I want more money. But I have worked unhappily in many, many jobs before and I have to affirm (to myself, especially) that no amount of money can weigh up the DESIRE to go to work, the DESIRE to be there, the feeling of looking forward to what the day will bring when I get out of bed in the morning.
Another thing I’m immensely grateful for is that when I do get a break, I’m allowed to go online and read posts to the Greynet. Richard G has announced the other day that there will be downloadable shares from a live Greysheet meeting, with new ones being put up regularly. This amazing service supports my abstinence as I can listen to those shares on the train journey and feel connected and strengthened.
Life may not be 100% roses, but I’ve got to tell you, I feel very VERY lucky these days. Abstinence is my bedrock.