I just received an email telling me I was rejected for the job I interviewed for this week. Considering that I didn’t really want that job that badly anyway, my own emotional reaction to this is surprisingly painful.
It’s not about this job, you see. It’s about being adequate. I’ve never had trouble finding a job before! I do have a temp job now that I need to be grateful for, and it is certainly a fine job that will continue indefinitely, but I really do want the stability and benefits of a perm job – along with the money that comes with it, and the recognition. Why do I need others to recognize my value? Because professionally, it IS others who determine my value, and it really erodes my confidence to be rejected as surely and as repeatedly as this (none of my NUMEROUS applications have gone anywhere).
But, on the positive side, I still have a job that pays my food and the bills, and WAY more importantly, I have sanity today because I do Greysheet no matter what.