Mourning the Food

Went to an AA meeting yesterday and heard exactly what I needed to hear: that this disease will not go away one day, I will not finish my recovery, and in fact, I have a life worth living NOW anyway. But, my sponsor today used the word “mourn” for the feelings, and I think that’s right on target. I’m still in the process of mourning the foods I cannot have. Gratefulness for the awesome foods I DO have certainly helps, but doesn’t completely blot out the mourning. But mourning is letting go. I choose today to let go of the substances that made me miserable, and by God – as another Greysheeter so eloquently put it – I eat like a [expletive deleted] queen today.

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