The past week I’ve been learning new things about myself that I’m immensely grateful for.
For context, for those who don’t know, I’m 24/single. So, last week I met this man. He’s pretty much all I could ask for – fun, intelligent, similar to me in many ways. He’s interested. But, and I do realize it’s not OK to take another person’s inventory, but when it comes to protecting me, I need to assess others – I’m pretty sure he’s one of us. But not willing or aware enough to want to do anything about it. Oh, he’s absolutely tolerant and aware of what I need in terms of food, because I made that known to him. He’s also tolerant of my spirituality and beliefs, but tolerance is not enough in this area.
It’s funny. I don’t have much experience with men in general, because in the past, I was always way more interested in the food and in myself than in them. And I guess that vibe comes across, so it’s not like there was much interest anyway. I was a very broken person – after my mother’s death, I quit caring for anyone. Then, since I found the God of my understanding, he has been transforming me, even before I found the Greysheet. I’m certainly not “there” yet, but I’m not where I used to be, either. So, having someone be interested in me is a new thing.
I think that if it wasn’t for Greysheet, I would probably have been so flattered to have ANYONE be interested in me that I wouldn’t really have set boundaries. Today, I am able to. I know myself well enough to know that 1) I need a spiritual connection, not just mental/emotional – we have to be on the same page spiritually; and 2) I’d rather be single than compromise.
In fact, I like being single. Someone would have to be VERY convincing to make me want to be with him and give up my singleness. I’d much rather be single than in a relationship without a spiritual connection.