Life unmanageable

I do Greysheet because apart from it, my eating is unmanageable.

However, I don’t expect Greysheet to fix my other issues. What I get from Greysheet is the clarity to tackle my problems, rather than eat over and ignore them, but Greysheet won’t make them go away. If I wanted to, I’d have plenty of problems to pick up over: I’m over $100 short until my next paycheck, I now have car payments to add to a budget I can barely work anyway, my knee is still not doing well, and a billion other things I can’t think of right now because I CHOOSE not to dwell on them.

Doing Greysheet will not help me with any of them.

In fact, because I do Greysheet, I can no longer escape those problems, ficticious as that escape was anyhow. They seem to get much more acute. I become so much more aware of them because my main problem, food, is out of the way.

So why do I do Greysheet, if it makes my problems that much more apparent?

Because ignoring, burying, and escaping won’t make my problems go away. My life may be unmanageable whether I’m in the food or not (though, honestly, I don’t consider it unmanageable at this point, but s*** happens), but I’m desparate enough about my food to make it my first priority today. Maybe food is the only thing I can do anything about today. And no matter how unmanageable my life is… it can always get worse with the food.

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