Making it stick

I am a COE, eating “normally” these days because I weigh my 3 delicious meals off the CGS and commit them to my sponsor daily. Today I won’t eat anything I haven’t committed, no matter what, and I make this my #1 priority for the day.

This mantra is important. I feel like it’s becoming more and more “normal” for me to eat on Greysheet, but there’s a certain danger in that. On one hand, it’s great to get routine and not have to think about everything 100 times. On the other hand, however, I’m feeling on edge because the desperation is leaving. I’m not desperate today because I have been free of compulsive eating for over four months.

Desperation was what drove me here… now I need to find something that *keeps* me here. And it can’t be just routine.

Service is one thing… connection to other GS’ers is another, and of course, hearing from newcomers about their struggles is powerful.

I’m not at the edge of eating at all, I’m just trying to protect myself and *never*, ever, be caught unawares by the disease. Complacency is my biggest enemy, not food. I’ve just been feeling like I need to make a conscious shift in my attitude to Greysheet, to go from desperation (which I can’t keep forever – nor should I, right?) to something else that will keep me abstinent for the long term. To the long termers: what is that? I would appreciate your thoughts.


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