Thoughts on service

Phew – this week was full of new experiences in Greysheet! I now have sponsees; yesterday I led a phone meeting; today I qualified on one. What an awesome thing to be able to serve! And of course I wasn’t happy with my first-ever qualification, but I guess nobody ever is, eh? Trying to put years and years of agony into a 20-minute qualification is kind of difficult as you might imagine.

But it’s very good to remember. It’s so good to think back objectively, without nostalgia, and looking at how difficult it was, the confusion – all of it now makes sense, now that I know I’m an addict and now that I live in the solution. Now I understand what baffled me so much then, why I couldn’t stop, why I’d compulsively keep doing something that physically hurt me. It’s good to remember how bad it was because it makes me appreciate how good I have it right now.

I have money problems and anxiety… I am carrying quite a bit of unnecessary weight with me… I have a busted knee… I feel like my job is kinda shaky… and a myriad other issues…. but guess what? I don’t have any *real* problems.

As long as I weigh all my food without exception, my life will work itself out. I choose to take care of my one and only problem today, to keep it at bay, and truly all the other issues are secondary. I can’t begin to thank Greysheet enough, and this community!!

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