Accountability to outsiders

I happen to know that today is Day 99 because my calendar tells me that I’ll have 100 days tomorrow. Yes, I quit counting days, but I’ve marked the 100-day anniversaries in my calendar. So, I will celebrate tomorrow!

If I get the chance, that is. Life is hectic this week: I have a meeting tonight about the camping trip, which is to start on Wednesday (and I’m still frantically running through various restaurants/fast food places in search of fat in packets, but they don’t seem to do that any more – there’s just big tubs where you can get a portion into a paper cup!). I’m both apprehensive about the trip and looking forward to it! I’ve never been camping before, so I can only hope that I’m not forgetting something (non-food) that’s vitally important. The bug spray is packed.

I find myself “coming out” to more and more people now. Maybe it’s because I now have some distance between the disease and me, just in terms of time. I haven’t been active in a while, the shame is lessening, especially as I continue to learn and internalize that it’s not my flawed character, but a very real disease. So now I’ve been telling some of my friends at church, and I think this will keep me accountable. I never used to want accountability with the people around me, I’d rather they not know what was going on, so if I went off whatever diet program I was on, they wouldn’t know. Now I’m finding security in having others know that I do have a problem and that if I take a bite of something I’m offered, then something is very wrong. They know that, now.

Have a wonderful abstinent day, all – tomorrow will be the last time I post because I’m going camping early Wednesday morning. 🙂

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