Day 89: Musings on willingness

Day 89. Counting days is coming to an end. Who’d have thought?

My key is willingness. Tomorrow WILL be day 90, because I’m willing. Had this discussion yesterday with my sponsor… I’m not going to say “HP willing”, because the HP I believe in will not shove food down my throat if I don’t want it. It’s not HP’s willingness, because HP is more than willing for me to remain abstinent, HP is my strength in CGS. It’s *me* who needs willingness, and for today, I am as willing as I was on day 1. Today is no different than, say, day 4 was, except that weighing foods now goes much quicker…

I have free will, completely. I am free to eat whatever I want to, and nobody is going to stop me if I choose to put sugars/grains/starches into my body – HP won’t, and people won’t. I’m free to go. But for today, I exercise my free will by choosing to eat my committed CGS meals only. Nobody will stop me from that, either, and if I ask, both HP and people will support me. I’m feeling very strong today, but that might change tomorrow, I’m a down-and-dirty addict after all. But for those days, all I need to do is ask: HP and people. I know they’re there, and they help.

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