Day 74: Weight musings

Feeling kind of negative feelings. My post from yesterday never made it to Greynet, but I didn’t get a notification as to why, either. In the end, that’s probably just as well, because it was very negative… I weighed in, lost practically no weight, and I was depressed. Got over it, I guess.

Today my take on this is that I’ll give it another month. I don’t know where else to go, if not CGS. The weight has to come off… it HAS to… these are not vanity pounds, this is obesity. But no other program has ever given me sanity around food, on the contrary: just more obsession. I have nowhere else to go, which is why I’m feeling so hopeless right now – if the weight’s not coming off with this, there’s no other way out… there’s simply no way out, then.

That’s painting everything black, and I realize that even a 1-lb loss per month is a loss. And I was able to take a step back yesterday, and think – more importantly, FEEL – it through, without eating. My conclusion is that I’ll give it another month and then see what happens, what the scale says.

I’m an isolator, and I want to isolate right now. So I’m posting this to get it out there, to put myself out there, and to say: no matter what… even lack of weight loss. No matter what.

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