Day 29: Forming a habit

Another weekend is over and it’s funny how calmly I’ve been taking this. My first abstinent weekend was such a time of fear, fear of losing my abstinence because weekends have always been my binge times. I read somewhere that it takes 18 days to establish a habit, and if that’s true, then I’m well into my new GS-habit. And it does feel that way, familiar.

There’s a bit of danger in this familiarity, in that the “newness” has worn off and I always used to break any diet once it became “normal”. The difference this time is the community of GS. I go to phone meetings, I listen to qualifications, and they make me think of my own story and the pitiful depths this disease has taken me. When I look at me now with what I like to call Spring eyes (because spring – the warmth, the sun – really tends to make me feel SO MUCH more optimistic) and I see the beginnings of freedom, joy, even beauty, then I need to remember where I came from. Not to pull me down, but to give me true gratefulness.

I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for this community. Thank you for letting me get to know you so personally, and thank you for sharing my journey.

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