Day 16: Integrity

I just wanted to say thanks for the encouragement to those who emailed me… I can’t say I’m feeling any more social today, but hey, I AM abstinent. Despite last night, actually… I was going to call my sponsor but couldn’t reach her and the temptation was quite tangible. As in, why call anyone else? Why bother other people, if I know that I’m eating the same thing tomorrow as I ate today and therefore I *know* it’s GS-okay? It’s not like we aren’t anonymous, my sponsor will never know that I didn’t call anyone. That’s the way my thoughts went. But it’s about surrender… surrender to my sponsor, to the program, most of all to my HP who sees everything. It’s about my integrity, too, damaged as that may be through my years of lying/stealing/sneaking around food. So I called, and reached a very lovely person and when I hung up the phone, I was happy I spoke with that person and kept my integrity in this program.

Maybe I’ll take another social timeout tonight. There’s a BIG THING coming up this weekend, that is, friends from all over the East Coast will get together and I can’t wait to see them (never mind the unsocial tendencies I’m exhibiting right now – I’m genuinely excited). But until Friday, I guess I’ll be bedroom-slippering it.

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