On day 3 today, thank God, I am abstinent and weighing everything that I committed to my sponsor last night.
Because I now have a sponsor!
I’m so glad about this gift, of having a sponsor, and not only that, but someone whose personality and way of doing things seems to work perfectly for me. A very experienced, structured, no-nonsense sponsor. I thank my HP, God, for her.
It occurred to me this morning that I am having a much easier time being abstinent this time than I did at my first attempt… the reasons for that, I think, are:
1) I read through all the written qualifications on www.greysheet.org, have truly recognized myself in many of them, and have accepted the wisdom from them
2) As one of these qualifications says: I have made ONE decision, to be abstinent, and I have no intention of revisiting that decision for one occasion or another.
3) A practical issue: my life is just so much more settled and regulated than it was during my first attempt. I now have the time and willingness to get it all right, not just aspects.
4) I’m just in love with the food I get! Right before coming back to GS, I was doing the “South Beach Diet” – similar food choices, but you eat 5 meals a day rather than 3. Those 5, naturally, have to be smaller, so I could never get up from the table with a comfortably full feeling. It was only “just enough”, and I can live with true hunger much more easily than with this nagging “barely enough” feeling. Now I get full every single time! And empty too, before the next meal!
5) For some reason, the struggle I faced last time just isn’t there. I wasn’t surrendered last time. I took everything I heard and evaluated it with my addict mind. Now I just take everything I read/hear, period.
I’m ready to be abstinent just for today. It’s day 3, and I w/m all my food and eat nothing else, no matter what. Life is good!