Day 5

Susanne here, compulsive overeater on day 5 of GS abstinence. If you’d have told me a week ago I’d be able to stick to something for THIS long (which is ridiculous, looking at people on here who have hundreds of days together), I’d have laughed at you.

I went to three meetings over the weekend, Friday night, Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon. I feel it’s such a privilege to be able to meet with those wonderful people and listen to them share their stories so openly. Recognizing myself in those stories, too.

I’m not going to be able to make it to any meetings at all until Friday night, because my lunch break isn’t long enough for those meetings and I always have something at night. But, I make my phone calls, and I read on here which is tremendously helpful. I won’t eat NMW, which is a decision I made and that I won’t go back on. Just send any spare prayers my way, please… I’m a little scared, but definitely not as scared as I was of the weekend. Weekends used to be my binge days, during the week I usually do quite well.

Just today – as every single DARN day since I’ve started, and it’s only been 5 of them – I faced a major temptation. At work, I was given food by a co-worker because I’d done her a favor last week. So she went out and got me really good sweet food. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it – bring it to my roommates, who would have loved that? Not a bad idea, but it would have meant that I’d have to carry the food with me the entire day today. Plus, what if they don’t eat it all tonight? Then I’d be faced with the same temptation again tomorrow morning. Nah… I didn’t want to get into such dangerous waters. So I opened the food, put it all on a plate, and left it at my desk (I’m the receptionist) for anyone to have. Needless to say, people loved it!! The food, which usually isolates me from others, in this instance became actually a social thing, a way for me to connect with my coworkers. I just told them I’m not a sweets person, that I was given the food but didn’t like it. Riiiiiiight… but it worked!

You know what, for me and so far, the best part of this program is? It’s the peace of mind. I don’t have to plan my menu for the day, because I’ve already done so yesterday. I spend maybe 10 minutes planning out what I’m going to have the next day, and then after I’ve committed it to my sponsor, there are no changes. Nothing to obsess, worry, or think about. I know I’m going to be filled, but not stuffed with my food, and food seems to begin to fade in importance to its proper position – eat to live, not the other way round.

I sure realize I’m a looooooong way from any milestone, but for me right now, every day is one.

Have a good day… and I’ll be checking in here daily, since I can’t make it to meetings.


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